I want to be clear, before I even begin, this blog post was inspired by something I saw on tumblr and something that has been on my mind for a while now. In no way is this post directed at anyone in particular... It is only a collection of thoughts laid out on the Internet around a subject and some generalizations. If it hits close to home I'm sorry and I get it-it hit me once too!

We cool?

Moving on...

I saw this on tumblr last night and it sparked a lot of thinking around an issue that has been on my brain for ages. I think it started in the summer when I forgot how to sleep and got mad at a boy...

...and it continues when I'm a fly on the wall at a Calgary improv show where everyone is complaining about how they don't have another day off for 45 days.

But it isn't really complaining is it? It's an odd kind of bragging, a way of showing a room some assumed importance created in your own mind and glorified by a culture that has changed the meaning of busy to important.

But you aren't any more important than anyone else in the room are you? You're just regular important. You are deeply important to your friends, family, coworkers, lovers, pets, and the rest of your orbit. but only YOUR orbit. my life isn't improved by hearing you speak deliberately loudly about all the things you have to do and how cool you think they all are. but here you are at an improv show, seems pretty recreational and social...

I know some exceptionally busy people (a doctor here, a writer there, an actor here, a mom there (and the list goes on)...) and the coolest ones? the ones who i admire and feel lucky for a but their time; the ones who never complain about how busy they are. they are the ones who are so fucking thrilled with their lives that everything is gratitude and rainbows and the bags under their eyes only acknowledged between the closest of friends and/or after a few drinks. then, "holy fuck. i am so fucking exhausted" feels like a secret rather than a brag poorly disguised as a complaint.

so the next time someone asks you how you are remember that busy isn't an answer. busy is WHAT you are (and what we all are) but HOW is something else. "how are you?" is not a list of your social activities; "how are you?" is not your 72 deadlines; "how are you?" is not the million things your kids have to do. "how are you?" is: tired, exhausted, overwhelmed, scared, ferocious, wonderful, inspired, etc... and that will lead to a conversation and i will know that you're busy, because i get it. and if we don't know each other and i ask how you are and you don't have time for a conversation just wink and smile a dog-tired smile. and if we both know neither one of cares what the other is doing just say, "fine." and i'll say the same and we'll smile and move on with our lives.

cool?

oh, and if you ever catch me doing this thing i just spent a bunch of time i didn't have* complaining about, tell me! i don't mind being an asshole sometimes but i'd hate to be a hypocritical asshole.

*see what i did there...