sometimes when i can't sleep-and sometimes when i am just sitting places with a moment to think and worry-i wonder if our concept of democracy is in fact, a myth. our elected "leader" appears to have no care or concern for the citizens of this huge country and is content to let people starve, freeze and die in favour of... what? fighter jets? environmental devastation?

i don't know what the answer and i don't know if i know anything at all about politics. i just know that so often i feel totally baffled by our government and i can't help but wonder who is at fault? is it ours for electing them or theirs for lying before we elected them? what about all of us who didn't vote for those who are now in a position of making decisions for us? is the system broken or are we responsible for allowing it to function when it is so clearly broken?

i don't know. i don't know if i want to know.

all i do know is that last night i was awake most of the night worrying about a lot of things (love, money, friendship, the future...) and in the wake of "idle no more" these questions of democracy and the safety of our country's people remain chief among all the worries. i feel guilty for being here instead of outside but the reality is that i need to be at work to earn the money i make to pay the bills that far surpass my income. appearances can be deceiving...

anyway, i don't know what to think or feel today save for overwhelmed and a little bit sad. i hope that the future is bright for us but i don't know... today, i just don't know.