Tit for tat!

I overhear a lot of bullshit about tattooing. A lot. Rumours and conjecture and all sorts of totally unbelievable (and sometimes offensive) nonsense. Normally I don't comment, I stand quietly hoping people will notice how tattooed I am and just shut the fuck up on their own. But today, today was different...

Some back story: I am approaching heavily tattooed. I have spent 50+ hours and big bucks under the needles of some of the best artists in Canada. I have been tattooed in my kitchen, in other cities and in places that sent me running for a Hep C test! None of that tattooing has ever been for anyone but me. They are not a badge of honour or proof that I'm "tough" or badass (I am); they are art and I love them all. I love the communion between my skin and the artist; I love that I have 5'6" of skin to colour in and share the work of so many amazing artists in the process; I love how fucking hot they are! Anything else, and anything you think of me in the process is on you and my patience for ignorance is limited.

So there I am in Lester B. Pearson airport in our nation's unofficial capital listening to these middle-aged morons complain about their kids getting tattooed. I ignored it for the most part until one of the men started talking about how one of his coworkers should have been fired when she got a small tattoo on her wrist because it made her look so trashy. At this I began to prep myself for security-I took off my jacket and sweater revealing to these 4 assholes standing behind me a woman with a full sleeve. They didn't notice and I needed them to so as they began to talk about how "tattooed people are always sick because their immune systems are attacking the ink" I bent down, facing them to tie my shoe and as I stood up I made eye contact with one of the morons and said, "that isn't true."

Him: well, I heard it was.
Me: my doctor loves my tattoos, has some herself and is impressed by the health and shape I'm in.
His wife: well, you can't have an epidural because the ink will get into your spinal fluid and kill you."
Me: that's also untrue.
Wife: a nurse told me that.
Me: my tattooed gyno told me the opposite.
Wife: (with disbelief) both your doctors are tattooed?
Me: lots of people are tattooed. More than you would ever guess...
Him: whatever.

They still continued their tattoo conversation but at least it was just a boring one about tattoos they have seen and liked.

For the record, I have no idea if either of my doctors are tattooed. Neither of them are visibly tattooed but it doesn't matter, the truth of that is not important. My lie was silly and designed to prove a point to people who don't want to hear from a tattooed writer, they wanna hear from a doctor, even if by proxy, that everything they think is utter bullshit.

So people, if you get tattooed you will be able to get a job, have major surgery, give birth how ever you desire and your immune system will not destroy itself. And if you want, and I'd be cool with this, to be less of a dick about things that are completely unrelated to you, we'd all have a better time in airport line ups.

i'm writing a fucking novel!

it's november (duh!) and you know what that means: NaNoWriMo! For the uninitiated NaNoWriMo stands for NATIONAL NOVEL WRITING MONTH and the goal is 50000 yep, that's right? INSANE. this is my second year participating in NaNoWriMo. last year i wrote only 8000 words and for those of you doing the math that is a pitiful percentage. seriously, did you do the math? can you tell me the percentage? 

8000/50000 x 100. my brain can't do that shit. even "simplified". so let me know.

this year i cheated hardcore. yes, i cheated a contest with no prize but pride; my pride is worth very little in the face of competition with total strangers who will have no idea who i am. until i'm famous and then everyone will know who i am and they'll google me and know i cheated on NaNoWriMo 2012. SHAME... (not really)

this year i took the 8233 words i wrote last year and submitted that as my day 1 number to add to. whatever, i am still working on the same story so don't judge me, ok! and so what? because i'm not even sorry.

but here's the thing: at this exact moment i am kind of "over" fiction. i am going to work on NaNo for the experience and who knows what will happen with the "book"-maybe at the end of the day i will love it but right now, i don't know; and honestly, i don't know that i care. i do believe that the act of writing is a valuable one whether or not you actually show that writing to the world. 

but i wanna show some writing to the world. i want to be published. on my list of career goals being published is very high on the list. i genuinely want to be that asshole who walks around talking about "my book". 

"have you read my book?"

"it's available as an ebook too. i like to be green!"

"the font! have you seen the font on my book! a designer friend invented it! gah! i love a serif!"

etc...

(and please don't talk to me about when it goes out of print. why are you SO MEAN?!)

getting a play published would be cool too but not quite the same. 

so there's this novel thing but it's only a piece of what i want... and what you're asking, totally riveted, else is there to want? 

well, i've been reading a LOT of nonfiction lately: creative non-fiction, feministic blogs, comedy writing and whatever else i can get my hands on and THAT is what is inspiring me, moving me, throwing my heart and guts into creative turmoil. 

so the new goal? write some smart (and hopefully amusing), entertaining and well-the-fuck-crafted essays. to search for my voice amidst the swamp of shit out there in the world and see what sticks to the wall.

it's all a bit of a rambling dream but i do know that i am going to work on being a better, stronger and more interesting blogger (blogger...yikes!).

so there we are. please leave comments, tell me what you think and let's get some conversation going. CONTROVERSY PEOPLE.

m.

making calgary awesome

i lived in calgary alberta for 2.5 years. from the fall of september 2008 to february of 2011. when i moved i moved for a couple of reasons: a) i was battling hard with my union (canadian actors equity) and wasn't really able to work professionally in theatre in calgary in the capacity that i was being asked to work; b) i hated it here. being outside of the rehearsal hall (either at one yellow rabibit or sage) was depressing. I wasn't taking care of myself or gary and the unhappiness just got worse.  ​

i know there are people who love calgary just like i know there are people who hate edmonton but i think those people are insane. not really. not at all, actually. but i am not one of the ones who loves calgary on a day-to-day, month-to-month, year-to-painful-exhausting-year. it isn't home for me. ​

BUT, here i am in the land of the white hat, the executive rig pig and stampede date rape* ​yet again! why? bbecause i got to come home to one yellow rabbit. 

(*ok, there are rad friends here too... and many of them have even worn a white hat!) ​

i love it here. a world of passionate freaks and weirdos who have taken me under their big wings for what is now SIX shows and shown me more love and kindness ​than i deserve. confidants, adoptive parents and the hardest partiers in canadian theatre... aka: home. 

and this is what we're working on! come see it won't you? 

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​People You May Know @ the High Performance Rodeo 2013